A Yingin' and a Yangin'

Big Excitement / Massive Peace

Oct 20, 2024

Well, there’s a heap going on, and it all feels both very peaceful and exciting. My internal sensations nudge against a stillness at the heart of all my excitement. I am an excitable person. Sometimes, that excitement can send me into a whirly whirl and lack of presence. A trying at something as a reaction to wanting something. Speeding up and missing the space between the notes.

*insert sound of unintelligible squeaks on a cassette tape being fast-forwarded*

Cringe! Alas! That’s okay. I come back to it. “It” being the soft stillness nestled inside my ribcage. Like a bird’s nest, it’s a safe space–always there, caressing and holding the dreams that my life is playing at and nurturing right now.
The yin in all this yang.

The yang always has some yin in it, and the yin always has some yang.

I’m a yingin’ and a yangin’
A swingin’
on a pendulum of what
feels an awful lot like “normal”
Being that we are naturally, normally, divine
expressions in material form…I think the
swingin’ to and fro while one balances
their various states of
silence and sound is entirely
where one is supposed to be!
And it feels downright lovely
to be in acceptance of all
that swing;
all that
to, and
all that
fro

What am I so excited about?

1

It hasn’t officially been announced yet, but I am very thrilled to be playing the lead role in the Christmas play at the Gaslight Baker Theatre. Shh! You’re the first public place I’ve whispered this to.

We’ve had two rehearsals. For me, it has felt wonderfully risky while also perfectly comfortable. A yingin’ and a yangin’! There are many lines. And many opportunities to be silly and physical and connected to my scene partners. #thatsthedream
Well, mine, at least.

If you’re in Texas, I do hope you can come! And if you’re not, a movie of the same show is coming out this November. I’m playing Grace ;-)

Side note! The Gaslight Baker Theatre is currently doing a run of Stephen King’s Misery. I caught it last night. It is really forkin’ great. You should definitely see it if you like good acting and good theatre and the tension of a thriller.

2

Austin’s inaugural Clown 101 class (which I led at the Fallout Theater + held a showcase for) wrapped up in a wonderful manner. Both the show and the class were a success–in all their failures and flops, lessons and growth, laughs and goofiness. That all goes for both the students and myself. Boy, did I meet some edges and come out all the better for it!

Ultimately, I say it was a success because the feedback I received was absolute goals. Students were challenged, their curiosity was nurtured, and they expressed intended key takeaways that will inform their experience of life and work forevermore.

HUZZAH!

We started the second cohort of Clown 101 yesterday, and it is already such a fun and special group. Namely made up of female-bodied persons! Which is very rare, indeed, for the clown community. They are stupendous and generous, and I am very excited about our eight weeks together.

I am learning so much in this role as a guide. The classroom experience is informing my own play and life significantly. It is dissolving fears as I meet the need to confront them and overcome them. It is clarifying my approach! It is bringing out my beliefs to play, to be articulated in a day-to-day and stage-to-stage way.

Mm. Very exciting, indeed.

3 (the big one)

Because of my role at the Fallout Theatre, they have offered me a prime time to use the theater space for a Work in Progress series in late January and early February, with a debut of the show in March. I have successfully attained the companionship of my dream director for this piece. Eric Davis. Eric fucking Davis!!!

We are off to the races, friends.

4

Alan and I have recently made more space in our lives to plan our wedding and to nest.
With the date of our permanent union nearing six months out, invitations must needs be sent! Grappling with the familial dramas that have gunked up this segment of the hooplah must needs come to an end.

Things are what they are, and I’ve finally come to a place of letting go of what I wish they were in order to be present with what my actuality is.

This is perhaps what is allowing the yin to thrive within me.

Astrologically speaking, Pluto has been metamorphizing my home life.
Holler atchya Libra rising!
There is a newfound trust in my gut and acceptance of truths regarding my family. This stabilizing state is making way for my domestic growth.

And it feels so friggen good.

Sigh*