I wish I could give you more today.
I am rolling in ideas. A blog about forgiveness or huna or playing the rest. I want to fill these pages with letters that touch you like a mother kissing a scraped knee, or a sibling squeezing your hand when the parents get too loud. I want to weave into your minds-eye pictures of whimsy and comfort that feel like the dream of an ex-lover who cherishes every memory you ever made with them. The good, the bad, and the crumbly. I want to wrap you in grammar that soaks in like theater, suspend you in rhythm that oozes with warm welcome.
Alas, I am at my wits end. & I feel like the a shell of a person. No, worse. I feel like the biography of an artist. Those irritating, vague, pointless words used to explain and condone someones presence in a place.
My thoughts lack endings.
Pending… pending…
My fingers are drooling; their little jaws heavy, mouths agape.
In this vein, I’ll never hold you in full sway.
(careful! before the keys soak through, babe.)
Picture: my spirit, nudging glass ceilings. Like a stray, dissonant balloon.
With all my clown training, I know nothing if not that showing up as I am is better than showing up with a good idea.
So, instead of spinning yarn I don’t have the soul-fodder for, I will share a poem I wrote in the past, a video I pieced together of a time I cherished, and a recipe that never does me dirty.
Timeless
I feel a ticking
Beating against the inside of my skull
A countdown to forever
This spirit is eternal
My flesh but wrapping paper
For a present that will never end
Click through for an atmospheric video » documenting warm memories in a cold place / intimate & kind
Yummy Fish Recipe
Get you some salmon, or a fish that cooks like salmon.
Preheat oven to 350.
Lay fish skin-side down, in a sheet of tinfoil, on a cookie sheet. Curl tinfoil edges up to make a little boat of sorts.
Drizzle an eensy bit of sesame oil on that fisheroo and slather her in a little
Sambal Oelec (ground fresh chili paste in asian isle at the grocer– green lid with a picture of a cock-a-doodle-doo) and Yoshidas sauce (soy sauce if you don’t have any).
Sprinkle a thin layer of Furikake on top.
Slice some of a yellow onion into the thinnest slices you can manage. Just enough to decorate the top of your fish with a thin layer.
Drizzle your onion layer with an eensy bit more oil. Use sesame oil or olive oil, to your taste. If you have a basting brush, brush that bish up. Coat that sea dog’s toppings! Get ‘em nice and lubed! If you want to add a little more Sambal Oelec and Furikake, now is your chance. I like to!
Pop your fish in the oven for 25 minutes, and you’re good to go!
Note: The tilfoil boat will keep the juices in. They are very tasty and should be drizzled on top of fish and side rice when served.
*this recipe was relayed to me long ago by my brother Brian, who pieced it together from tasting meals often found on our homeland of Hawaii’s dinnertables.
*It never fails to delight the taste buddies. And we have never shared it with anyone! If you try it, please let me know how it went in the comments!
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