Every Mistake is a Gift

Clown Wisdom for the Ages

To say that I am proud of my students would be an understatement.

I wish I knew more languages, had more words.

My second cohort of Clown 101 at the Fallout Theater wrapped the week before last. It was the first class/workshop/group I’ve ever led that mainly comprised female-bodied persons.

I think that was a particularly special ingredient to the sauce we cooked up.

It was also a relatively small group–of eight, somewhat wide-ranging in experience and age.

It’s such a joy to aggregate all of my various teachings into an ever-flexible curriculum for an ever-changing group of explorers. My third cohort starts next month, and then I’ll expand my offerings at the Fallout Theater beyond an intro into an ongoing class for those already introduced to the work.

I didn’t intend on a third cohort in January 2025. I, instead, had my time allotted to develop my own work, and the theater booked for seven shows with which to do so.

And then, some weeks ago…everything changed.

I found out
that
I am pregnant.

!!!

Yup.

Exactly.

It is unexpected, and a great adventure to be on indeed.

Alan and I are very excited, albeit juggling overwhelm and rapid change. Experiencing the grief of certain losses and the celebration of many new joys to come.

One of those losses is my show…at a time when I needed to be all-in there, I became all-in with an entirely different place and perspective. My resources are going through a reallocation, and appropriately so.

So, here we go.

Taking off and settling into a grand new adventure I wasn’t quite prepared for.

“Every mistake is a gift,” as clown wisdom tells us.

So never, ever waste one.

It is up to us to unwrap these gifts, make use of them, make sure not to cast aside the opportunities they are to make the real juice of the show. To recognize unexpected blunders as inspired bits of universal wisdom, like clay being thrown our way. Fodder with which to mold and shape and create something you never would have been able to kick off without the joker…the card that wasn’t in the cards.

I do believe that wholeheartedly. After 20 years of pre-marital sex and my wedding coming up in April…well, I really did not stick the landing.

This mistake is just as it should be. I am unwrapping it and shaping the spaces before me anew. It is splendid and different, scary and sparkling, exhausting and bizarre, and oddly comfortable in its actuality. Like the inevitable movement of Pangea to the continents we know now, I have already felt the rumbles of the plate tectonics that make up my personality shifting. It feels right–albeit early in some ways and late in others.

So, here we go!

A hui ho,

Julia