Hapa Honey Boi
A Drag King is Born
Wowee wow wow wow, my babes. 111 subscribers! Y’all, that’s a big feat for us here at The Skinless Grape. Thank you from the bottom of my booty and tip of my toboggan for being here and supporting a free press. And while, yes, most of this content here is free, what I mean is:
Amen.
Jah Bless.
🙌
Substack is truly where it is at.
Have you been exploring the content available on this platform? Have you discovered any gemmy gem gems? Will you share them with us?! Don’t hold out, y’all!
If you haven’t been exploring substack, I highly recommend you do! Just click over here and do a little searchin’! You’d be surprised at the number of known heroes and interesting pedestrians on here tip-tapping away for you at their little computers. Perched on a bed or couch or seat, just like you, reaching out into the ether with their whole hearts and souls.
This week has been a bit of a whirlwind for me. I know my whole ass last newsletter was about the value of stillness… well, my version of stillness included a relatively still foot but a whole lot of groovin’. I did my first live Drag King show since 2020!
How did this turn of my week get goin’?
Whelp, it was date night on Friday evening, the sun was getting lower, and with it Alan’s plans for cookin’ at home sank into a snooze. We’d had a busy day, and the necessary grocery errand had become less and less appealing.
Game for live music and spicy cocktails at our favorite local bar, we hopped in an uber and found ourselves noshing Indian tacos and guzzling jalepeño margs before you could say, “What do you want for dinner?”
Yes, dudes! Indian tacos! The fusion here in Texas is outta this world. Trés moderne.
Before I knew it, Hays County’s Personality of the year was making eyes at me from down the long wooden party table. Bunny Boom Boom, AKA Corey AKA the elegant sweetheart I met in the bathroom at brunch on Sunday, is this town’s leading Drag Queen. I’d seen her name around and marked her as a verification check that this town had cool in it during my July decision-making on what town to move to. She is clearly iconic, and every bit of attention she gives me feels like a rose has just slapped me in the tush.
Corey scooted on over and started chatting us up. He knew I was leaving town for the weekend but asked again if I could come to their Pride Show on the river that Sunday. Realizing it was at night and not a brunch event, Alan and I exclaimed that OMG WE CAN TOTES BE THERE!
And then, the unimaginable happened. Corey invited me to perform!!! Without even knowing me, and likely the first Drag King in town! Miracles do happen, friends. Trust and believe. I was far too honored to even think twice about what this meant for the work I had cut out for me—getting a costume and act together in less than two days while upholding prior obligations 5 hours north? Whatever. Opportunities are opportunities, and this hapa honey boi wasn’t about to lose this one.
We did a round of shots to celebrate, and boom boom boom, I was on the bill.
Alan and I scooted off to finish date night, albeit I was extremely jittery, self-aware, and too distracted to be as committed to the moment as I like to be.
Saturday was spent hunched over Garage Band, splicing together a piece to perform to–amidst driving, family hellos, and an oil painting exhibition from artists of the American West.
Sidenote: notable modern works of 2022 in this region are an exciting fusion of hyper-painterly landscapes surrounding much more realistic figures. So painterly they were hardly landscapes of nature and more like landscapes of paint and feeling. Makes sense, to express oneself in this era via an emotional land with a figure that feels so much more specific and thus lost in its magnitude of texture.
There were also a lot of paintings of up-close women reading books–read into that what you will–and jewel-toned still lifes centering a heap of negative space; they rank of feeling rich but without.
Side-side note: turns out I have developed a real affinity for paintings of cows.
All night and Sunday morning, I lip-synched my way to confidence. Along the way, I found some critical outfit components at Walmart and Buc-ees, which is a very celebrated Texas pit stop that resembles the fetus of a Disney Land shop. We got home, I had time for a shower and makeup and one run-through, and we were off to the river.
BinG, BaNG, BoOM!
is town has a great river, and our little queer party climbed aboard a bunch o’ paddle boards and went around in circles while Bunny Boom Boom MCd her way into the hearts of all the surprised river dwellers. Most were super down to find joy and celebration with the event. Throwing us silly, sexual energy, baffled bemusement, or just fun ol’ hooraying our way.
One teenage boy did throw a dis, and honestly, it was so bizarre. I was offended off the bat, but in hindsight, I am primarily puzzled and intrigued. He asked Bunny their name and number, the leading badass in heels on a paddle board with a microphone in hand, and then after Bunny dished out a clever remark, he ignored the fact that she didn’t give him her number and shouted, “PSYCH!”
Um, what? Lol. We are literally in a parade right now, sir.
If you are here because on my Instagram I promised I’d provide a video of the show, I am sorry to say that I do not have one to give! I thought it was recorded, but, alas. So, in the way of this letdown, I will be recording one just for you.
It’ll be better for you to view when it’s made for video anyway; you’ll get all that eye-contact luvin’ instead of trying to make out what’s going on with this far-away dude gyrating on someone you can’t quite see.
The show had three queens and was for such an age range! I caught eyes with 1-year-olds and 70-year-olds, and everyone in between. It was such a good time! And, included Bingo! I had never seen public bingo before but I caught it again this week, paired with karaoke at a dive bar, no less.
!
Looks like bingo is a thing in this town!
Anyway, I appreciate this little river town in Texas so dang much and am just so silly grateful I’ve been finding my footing here so quick.
I’ve also been having a lot of stress around self-worth as I navigate employment possibilities. It’s clear that I’ve got a lot of self-work to do in that department. Sometimes I am ready to dive into all of that necessary self-work… and sometimes I resist with earnestness.
I toggle my efforts to improve myself on and off a bit, and am currently loitering in a place of pretend-ignorance. I feel like I don’t know what to do about low self-worth in finances and career, but I do. I have tools based in meditation and journaling and saying “No” that I know are fruitful in this department. I am coming up against a pretty big block, no less.
Do you have any suggestions therein? Have you had any particular success in adjusting low expectations for your self-worth?
What tools and approaches have you found that have helped you? Or methods you’ve tried that have in no way helped? Learn anything from those failures?
Thanks in advance for your wisdom.
Love you guys.
Aloha nui loa,
Julia Fae
aka
Hapa Honey Boi
I feel like the tools you mentioned for battling low self-worth are the right tools, but sometimes just require a consistent patience to carve through the big blocks that come up from time to time. Also staying hydrated helps.
Recently discovered George Saunders substack. Very cool. And Gregory Crewdson's too!