Pop is punk, damnit.

Plus, a touch on my particular dynamic of "queer"

My latest obsession? The hottest couple to hit my body-brain sideways, Reneé Rapp and Towa Bird.

I can’t get enough of them. Individually, together. Musically, personally. Past, present. Future? God, a girl can dream…

Reneé Rapp is the lesbian pop icon my youth was missing. Where my interest in the Backstreet Boys and Mandy Moore worked together to fill gaps they didn’t quite fit. She’s slaying a late 90s/early oughts vibe and her girlfriend Towa is offering up a 70s/80s something-or-other that just takes me out.

I often have a thing for a pop star going at any given moment. They are magical creatures. Insanely talented, and deservingly so because they work their asses off more than seemingly anyone. Plus, they really put themselves out there more than I think most artists do. Because they flaunt who they are and what they like in a world where average adults and cool kids alike judge and disregard the shit out of them just because they are pop.

But, dude, you could never.

Factoring in that this time I actually like their music and it’s filled with sapphic songwriting? I’m deceased.

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For whatever jumbled up reason, I’ve never been on fire for a straight couple. Or male celebrity (unless I aimed to be or channel them. *Spike from Buffy* cough, *Justin Beiber* cough, cough). I think for so many reasons, I most relate to lesbian everything. Fashion, vibes, movies, sex. It’s just… where my existence sort of sits.

But, yes, I am married to a pretty straight male (pretty as in fairly, not fair).

What’s the deal, there? I don’t know. But I am so in love with him. And that doesn’t change the reality that I still am who I am! Women oft make my stomach flip and have me actin’ a fool. They are who I notice and who I think about. Who I enjoy flirting with. They are infinitely interesting.
Men (who are not my husband) do not make me look twice.
(Unless they are really silly and fun to play with in a theater games kinda way, but that’s a whole ‘nother thing).

Alan said he thought I was cute when we met and wanted to ask me out, but thought maybe I was a lesbian.
That tracks.
I have always felt so seen by him.

Queerness is weird. I guess that’s why that word/label makes sense to me. I don’t really care to spend my life circling around trying to define my whys or whats or feeling beholden to being any sort of specific. They are what they are and I am what I am. And that, my friends, is queer.

On Stage performing in “Goth Brooks” for Austin’s Jammie Jam burlesque show as “Hapa Honey Boy.” I brought in two makeup artists who worked on me for a film to be my backup “dancers.” It was fun. They were hot. Go them. @kreepykels @gwennwilliamson

Anyway, you should check out Reneé and Towa.

Oh, also, if you’re a millennial and like creepy shows and appreciate queer couples (and understand the gravity that is Toni Collette. fucking legend):
”Wayward” on Netflix.

Boom. You’re welcome.

A hui ho!

Julia